Moving
Not blogs, though it have been over a year since I have written here. A year that
I’m moving! From Richmond to Shepherd’s Bush. In fact, this blog has not even received a single entry while I was in Richmond, so let’s pretend it just never happened. Well, let’s say that Richmond, like Zurich, is a place that one goes when one has to be in London but does not particularly want to be in London. Which is to say it is not London. Not by a long shot. It is charming, attractive, fun, and quiet. Oh so, so, quiet and as a consequence, expensive. Richmond is rich, mon and Zurich is zu reich (too rich).
Which is not to say that either is without their charms as well as charges. The charms are: tube access (though at the end of the line where you “always get a seat”… for your > 45 min journey), mainline access, the biggest, bestest park with the coolest deer on one side, the river on the other, and bordered again by the aristocratic charm of Kew and Ham House. A river view that led to many other Richmonds being inspired by this one (which is itself inspired by Richmond, Yorkshire). A high street full of high-end high street shops, buggies, mummies, buses, while devoid of any real culture, colour (and coloured people, I might add), locally owned businesses, and community. In fact, the community of Richmond is simply a community of exclusivity. Richmonders look down on pretty much everyone save Belgravians and perhaps endowed country estateholders.
Which is not to say we are anything like Richmonders. We live in what is perhaps the most overpriced flat in the world, with certain the worst landlord I have ever heard of. Our flat did not have heating from the time we moved in until September, 5 months in total. Albeit they should have been hot months, we used space heaters for at least a month on either side. The house is slowly falling apart, the weeds are slowing encroaching on us, the landlord is always on holiday (you’re welcome!), the floor is so uneven that rounded thing will actually race away from you if left unattended, and warp furniture so that doors don’t close, and so on. Which is to say I have been fantasizing about leaving.
Yet leaving is an exercise in triangulation for Jane and I. Jane wishes to live within an area bounded by access to a rowing club, i.e. west of Kensington and near the river, and access to a job (which admittedly has changed more than once during our stay in Richmond) while I basically want to live anywhere but here, ideally near the centre as possible while minimizing commute.
As such we’re basically limited to west and southwest of the city, which offers such choices as Pimlico (too expensive), Kensington (way too expensive), Battersea (cats, dogs, disused power stations and council flats), Clapham (a expensive sprawl and hideous to boot), West Kensington (a vague and unknown quantity), Fulham (poshish, expensive, cramped), Chiswick (why not stay in Richmond!), Balham (like Clapham but worse), Streatham (like Balham but much, much worse), and… Hammersmith. Well, the vague area around Hammersmith because if you exit Hammersmith station and walk until it’s not crap anymore, there’s a high chance you end up in Fulham.
Hammersmith Station does no favours to itself. It is a new build mall surrounding the station area, which has the convenience of being at the station but the ugliness of being at the station. When you exit, there are more malls. City malls are always built to the highest spec, and almost immediately their white stone is tarnished by grit and soot, and ends up being a place where only a discount left sock retailer would put up shop, and even then only during Christmas. Or so it feels from the outside. In reality, Hammersmith, for reasons I can still not really understand, houses more high street retail footage than anywhere else in West London, maybe all of London period.
So once you pull yourself away from that retail paradise, you’re in housing. And if you happen to head north, along the route of the Hammersmith and City line, you end up approaching my new haunt, which could call itself Hammersmith, could call itself Goldhawk Road, and could call itself Shepherd’s Bush.
Shepherd’s Bush is not a place most people think is nice. Because of the retail sinks on either side of Hammersmith and Westfield (which we will discuss in a mo), there is no interest by high street retailers in setting up shop in SheBu, particularly not Goldhawk Road. There is, as a consequence, the very kind of commerce that excites me: a dingy but fun market that sells TVs, burqas, rugs, jewelry, candy, and falafel. There are shops that seem to sell exactly the same things but in a different place (which is also impenetrable to me, sure I can pick out the breadfruit, but how do you know which whole cloth guy is any good?). This, I am certain, frightens Jane. As do the men who have dogs, although they are on leashes. With spikes.
And further along we have SheBu proper, specifically SheBu Green and it’s massive O2 Empire and Walkabout. You think, “but you said there are no big chains around”. This Walkabout is no chain. It is a place of holiness, a palace of Fosters and cricket and fights. And overcrowding. It is absolutely enormous. Jane says it used to be a firehouse. I think it used to be an army depot, and is now an Aussie depot.
SheBu is not really about being safe, though it is safe. In fact, given the community feel, as indicated by a hundred shops selling the same things, it is probably safter than Richmond, where an attack is more likely to get a noise complaint than a good Samaritan. And anyway being safe is exactly not what the city is about. It’s about being a little bit edge, hanging it out, communing with the devil, etc. Or so I think.
As a result, I am overjoyed by this move, I finally get the city life I wanted, and fewer prams. Anyway none containing any saviours of man and pushed by indignant WAGs. We shall see how Jane finds it. I suspect less well than I do. Apparently, she needs a new wardrobe. We found this out when we passed a queue for a Metronomy show (!) at the Empire and the inferioritydar spiked. This new wardrobe is easily found, because just beyond the Green is the largest mall in London, the Westfield White City. Which is to say the least a Mecca, and at least while it’s fresh and white, it is stuffed full of high streetness in a way that make the denizens of Hammersmith Station and Richmond High Street ill.
Which, to summarise, is why I am so damned excited. In a single 30 minute walk, you can go from the riverside pubs and bridge views of Hammersmith to the convenience of the Hammersmith station, to our flat, to the happy slum of Goldhawk to the hipster scene of Shepherd’s Bush, to the high temple of retail of Westfield. Keep going and you’d end up in Notting Hill, and god help you if you went in other directions.
So what’s the catch? Well, there’s no park. In fact bang for buck would put you smack back in Richmond Park if you had a bike. Pubs look a bit sparse, though a few good candidates are within crawling distance. It’s not a hugely better commute for me (same walking time to the station, same slow District line to work), and potentially worse for Jane. It’s not really “near” rowing, though it turns out that Jane commutes 30 minutes to rowing anyway, so it couldn’t be worse, right?
Location is of course, the thing. But the flat is another, and while I have told you how awful the Richmond flat is, I probably should disclose the other upside of our new flat, the lovely newness.



